Monday Morning Zombie

I try to be a good wife on the days that end with “Y”.  This morning, like most mornings, I got up to cook The Beard breakfast and assemble his lunch at 5:15am.  This is truly an act of love since I don’t technically work during the summer and have no other reason to be up while it’s still dark out.

More often than not, my husband tell’s me to go back to bed, because he’s a big boy and there’s no reason for me to be up.  It’s always nice to hear is genuine consideration, although sometimes I think it’s as much for him as it is for me.  Remember, my cooking skills aren’t the greatest, let alone when I’m in a zombie like state at 5am!

The Beard has a strong disdain for zombies. He says the Zombie Apocalypse is coming.  He also says he will have no trouble defending himself and shooting me if I turn into a zombie.  That’s true love right there.

This morning, this zombie should have listened to his advice and gone back to bed.  

We have the same breakfast every morning during the week (and usually the weekends too): eggs over medium and slices of bacon.  The whole time I was cooking I smelled a strong perfume type smell.  I had no idea where it was coming from and finally decided it must be the skillet.  I had taken it out of the dishwasher and assumed that it was was the detergent.

I know that’s kinda dumb, but at 5am, I’m not Sherlock Holmes and it was the best I could come up with.  

I apologized to The Beard and told him I hoped his eggs didn’t taste like soap.  Not surprised by this statement, he went ahead and tasted the eggs but said they were fine.  We were both still perplexed, but he had to get to work and I was headed back to bed.

The Lordling beckoned me about 6:15 but was easily convinced to hit the couch with me for another hour until The Princess demanded we wake at 7:15.  As I took a deep breathe in order to give my sigh of “I guess it’s time to officially start the day,” I inhaled what seemed like the perfume of an extremely old woman who was proud of her newly purchased $2.99 bottle of perfume. Gag me.  It was awful!

Upon entering the kitchen, I glanced at the stove.  Now that it was light in the house, I discovered Exhibit A:

Exhibit A

As soon as I saw it I knew.  When I came back from the fridge to put the butter in the skillet this morning, I didn’t understand why it wasn’t melting and had said to myself, “I know I turned that burner on!”  Shaking my head, I proceeded to turn the front burner on and cook breakfast.  Apparently the BACK BURNER that I had ACTUALLY turned on PREVIOUSLY was not sufficient!

So after being left on for TWO HOURS, it’s no wonder the house smelled like a french whorehouse!

I should really come with a label:

I called The Beard to inform him that the mystery was solved, but mostly to get his advice on cleaning up the aftermath so that I didn’t do anything even more ridiculous.  During our conversation he requested that I message him a pic once we hung up.

Me:  *image of the destruction*

The Beard:  Just as I imagined.  We need to stop keeping stuff on the stove.

Me:  Sorry.

The Beard:  No problem.  We’ll learn and adapt.  This best hit your blog.

Me:  I don’t really have much to say about it.

The Beard:  I think it mostly goes without saying.

Me:  On another note, I wish I could get this $#&*!@# smell of “cotton blanket” out of my nostrils and this house!  I don’t even LIKE that candle!

The Beard:   See, the punishment fits the crime.

Sometimes I wish I really were a zombie.

~Ashley~

P.S.  Just in case there IS a zombie apocalypse…don’t say I didn’t try to prepare you.

Daily Sound Bite

I hate getting ready to go places.  I wish I just had a personal assistant that could get me ready.  After a morning of errands and a lazy afternoon, it was time for me to get ready for our evening outing.

Me:  *throwing my arms around The Beard’s neck*  Can you just snap your fingers and make me ready to go?

The Beard:  Come on honey.  If I could snap my fingers and make you something, don’t you think it would be more than just “ready to go”?

Me: *jaw drop*

The Beard:  *laughing*  I think I’d have a little higher aspirations than that!

It never stops.  Never.  Stops.

It’s a good thing I know he loves me.

~Ashley~

The Break-Up

Dear Scale,

I’m writing you because I feel the need to get some things off my chest regarding our relationship. Please don’t take what I’m about to say personal, but in order for me to continue moving forward with my life, I feel like you need to understand my true feelings for you.

Bottom line: I don’t like you. Never have. I mean I’ve tried to like you. REALLY tried. However, it’s just not working and here’s the top five reasons why.

• You play with my emotions. You say something one day that makes me incredibly happy and then spew out something completely different the next.

• You make me feel like what I do is never good enough. There’s nothing like working my butt off to exercise and eat right, just to have you say “Meh, it’s not enough to move me in the right direction.”

• You consistently ruin my highs. I run to you after not seeing you in a couple of weeks and am anxious for your response to all of my sacrificing while I was away.   Unfortunately, instead of giving me a look of admiration, your negative stare tears me down in a flash.

• You don’t make much of an effort. The only effort that gets put into this relationship is by this girl. I give, give, give and you take, take, take. Ok, maybe a couple of times you’ve surprised me with a pleasing gift, but that’s a rare occasion. You pretend to be my friend, but you’re really not.

• You’re lazy. You lay around on the floor all day, doing absolutely nothing until I come and push you to work. Even then, you don’t do what I wanted you to do.

In the end, you’re a hard habit to break but I’m walking away. I used to look forward to seeing you every day, but I have grown tired of your mind games. It’s also time for me to start taking some responsibility for the control I have allowed you to have over me. You’re just full of numbers. Numbers that you throw my way, depending on what mood you’re in, all the while not considering all parts of the story.

You can size me up all day long, but at the end of the day, there are things you can’t measure such as: strength, endurance, beauty, confidence, muscle gained and inches lost.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say with all of this is that I’m taking a break from you. I won’t let you be the only thing that defines me anymore. Don’t worry, I’ll still come around now and again to say hello and see how you’re doing. However, it will be on my terms not yours.

Sincerely,

~Ashley~

Why Workout?

Please comment and share with others your reasons for working out and living a healthier life!

~Ashley~

Goal Digger

Now I ain’t sayin’ I’m a…

…but I’m done messin’ and just pulled the trigger.

 

This morning I hit GO and look what happened.

      

 

What are you waiting for?

🙂  ~Ashley~

 

 

 

Taste The Burrito

Today is The Beard’s birthday, so he and I went out for breakfast at a local eatery that we love, The Chef.  Reason #532 that I love the beard is our conversations.  It should come as no surprise that our discussions are rather diverse and often seemingly random.  For example, while driving to breakfast we were talking about The Beard turning 39 and how things change with time.

Me:  I mean, would you want to have one year old twins right now?

The Beard:  Well, that would depend.

Me:  On what?

The Beard:  Well, would I be fathering twins with you or…

Me: Riiight.  If it were me no, but if it were Megan Fox then you would TOTALLY be up for it.

The Beard:  Absolutely not.  I’m done having kids.*pause*  Look, even if I was on my way into the doctor to get a vasectomy and Megan Fox stopped me and said “I want to have your babies!”…

Me:  You would say, “Hold on.  Let me reschedule this appointment.”

The Beard:  Nope.  I would tell her thanks but no thanks, I’ve already got three.

Me:  Whatever.

The Beard:  She’s probably not that good in bed anyway.

Me:  Yeah, but you’d sure want to find out.

The Beard:  Well, I mean, let’s be honest.  You can’t tell if a burrito’s good until you taste it.

That particular conversation ended with the 79% look and an eye roll on the side.

During breakfast, we were discussing my awkwardness at starting friendships, specifically with females.  I gave him a list of all the concerns I had, as well as a variety of scenarios of why it might not work.  He just sat there and smirked while shaking his head.  When I inquired as to why, he just said

“Because I just don’t understand what the issue is.  Just try and see what happens.”

This isn’t the first time he’s said something like this to me.  I think I try to sabotage things before even hitting start.  It’s not on purpose really, it’s just that I’m scared. At times the delay is because I don’t know how.  Sometimes I spend too much time on the details.  Other times it’s because I don’t really want to.  And still other times it’s because I’m worried about how the process will play out.

Sometimes we are our biggest obstacle.  

I can’t count on one hand the various things I haven’t done or put off because of one or more of the above.  A new exercise or eating plan, cleaning the house, lesson planning, writing, you name it.  Honestly, beginning something is often hard and uncomfortable.  I’ve gotten better about it in the last couple of years, but this is definitely something I want to improve upon.

I’m only 35 and I have lots of goals that I would like to achieve.  And yes, more often than not, I have no idea what I’m doing and a list a mile long as to why I can’t or shouldn’t.  But the thing is, sometimes you just have to GO and “taste the burrito.”

  ~Ashley~

Like It Or Not

I’m tired today.  Probably because I ate a huge meal last night for our anniversary.  It was delicious, don’t get me wrong, but oh my goodness was I full!  It’s funny, the effects food has on you and the more you notice it once you don’t eat the “not so good stuff” on a regular basis.

So, today I will run.  I feel like doing anything but, but we have a lot going on this weekend and since I won’t be back at boxing until Tuesday of next week (The Beard’s birthday is Monday), I need to put in my time on my own at home.  If I don’t, I can’t even begin to tell you how annoyed and frustrated I will be come Tuesday.  It’s just not worth it and I will be glad I did.  Wish me luck!

~Ashley~

He Didn’t Marry Me For My Cooking: Recipe Share #3

When you have kids, it’s often tough to still make time for adult activities, like date night.  However, we are lucky in the fact that my mom is usually willing to hangout with The Princess and The Lordling whenever we need her too.  So when The Beard get’s to spend time with his “special lady friend” we often eat at one of our favorite restaurants, Taco Lucha.

Side note: “Special lady friend” was my status until we got engaged I think, and still pops up from time to time.  So annoying.  I think that’s why it’s had such a long run.

You know what else is annoying?  Not being able to eat out whenever you want without having to suffer the physical consequences!  However, it is what it is.  So I was really excited to stumble upon this recipe for Clean Eating Oven Baked Fajitas   I love it because I THINK I’m eating my favorite tacos from my favorite restaurant but at no where near the the calories, fat, sodium, etc.

As always, this dish is really easy to assemble and can be customized to your liking.  For example, sometimes I don’t bother using a shell and just eat the meat in a bowl and I always add avocado.  Another reason this gets the thumbs up is that our kids will eat it too.  It’s not too spicy and it’s good for them.  Just ask The Lordling.  He shovels it in!

So if need a quick-to- fix dinner that will impress your “special lady friend” or if you are her and want to impress your mate, try this one out!

~Ashley~

Tip:  In order to view the recipe, you will have to register for its hosting site. It will ask you for a $5.00 donation to support the site but even if you can only donate $0.00, it will allow you to register.

Just Say No To Donuts…Most Of The Time

Today is our 4th anniversary.  This is my morning treat.

See, I don’t only share the good stuff with you.  The reality of things is that I try to eat somewhat clean 80% of the time.  The other 20% is flexible.  I enjoy food, family and friends too much to never have the other stuff.

So this morning I took the kids for a treat.  I had this delicious Triple Chocolate donut from Varsity Donuts (best donut shop ever!) and will continue celebrating by a wonderful dinner out tonight, with The Beard.

The reality is that yes, it will all come with a little guilt, that’s just a natural feeling (and actually good to have, I think) when you’re working to live a healthier lifestyle. However, I also know that I work hard at it so many other days, so I can enjoy times like these.  So today I will be saying “yes” to things I say “no” to most other days, and I’m ok with that!

Have a great day!

~Ashley~

Never Hit Soft

I completely agree with Teddy…

…which is why I look like this after every workout at K.O Boxing.

How hard are you willing to work?