I have a low tolerance for ignorant people. I mean, looks can only keep my attention for so long. After those first 15 seconds, if you can’t carry on an intelligent conversation about ANYTHING, you’ve lost me.
Luckily, I’m married to The Beard and neither of these are a problem.
One of my favorite things about our relationship is that we enjoy conversing with each other. About anything. Government interference in our lives. Zombies. Our general disdain for a neighbor, just because his license plate says “Nklebck.” What’s wrong with education. Whether or not Jay-Z and Beyoncé are really headed for the big “D.” You name it, we talk about it.
I’ve mentioned before that The Beard is an avid reader, so a lot of our discussions stem from articles that he reads and then sends my way. While many are fairly random, The Beard does a nice job of also sending me articles that pertain to topics that are a focus of mine or that might help in my journey to become a better individual.
Recently, he sent me an article called “21 Reasons Why A Great Body Just Isn’t For You.” These days, I’ve learned to actually read the articles before following through with my desire to give him my right hook! I really enjoyed this article and like usual, he and I discussed several of its points one night, after the kids went to bed. I told him that as I read, I found myself continually nodding my head in agreement as my mind pulled up all of my own experiences that matched the thoughts of the author.
I thought I would share with you the five points that I connected with the most.
2. You don’t take action. I feel like I spent so many years being miserable in my own skin. I would vent my frustrations to others about how “I wished my hips weren’t so big.” or “Why couldn’t I fit into the outfit on the mannequin?” all the while taking another bite of my quarter-pounder with cheese. It was easy to complain, but doing something about it was another story. I could give you a list of reasons, aka excuses, as to why I didn’t take action, but in the end none of them were viable. Therefore, I remained fat and unhappy.
3. You blame your genetics. This specifically made me think of my hips. I have wide hips and so does my mother. She would always apologize to me for “giving” me her hips. I think that, along with other characteristics, I just chalked my body up to being born that way. Which is rather amusing, given both my father and my mother were thin for most of their younger years. Either way, I often felt that there were physical characteristics that I was just going to be stuck with, as it would be an arduous task to change them.
4. You compare yourself to other people. Oh my, how this is true. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t compared myself to others (this will be the focus of a blog post in the future). Wishing for their body type, facial features, etc. Sad to say, but I was doing this all the way back in elementary school. Sometimes I try to think about what initially flipped the switch, meaning what was it that made be begin to feel like I wasn’t acceptable physically. I honestly can’t pinpoint any one thing. I believe it was collections of experiences that I ultimately internalized and let mold my vision of myself
14. You’re a follower of fads. I remember in junior high begging my mom to do the 7- day soup diet. There was some recipe for a soup that you would eat for every meal and you would be guaranteed to lose 5 or 10 pounds, or something like that. My mom wasn’t often happy with her body either, so we tried it. We made it like two days I think. I was so disappointed in myself because that meant I wouldn’t be losing that weight. Never mind the fact that what we were doing was totally unhealthy and not a long-term solution. For the longest time I was always looking for the quickest way to get slimmer. I want to lose weight and I want it gone now!
15. You’re not consistent. This is TOTALLY me. Even still at times. The Beard is continuously telling reminding me “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” For the longest time whenever I was trying to lose weight, if I wasn’t immediately seeing results (and I mean like the day after trying something once) then I would want to quit. What’s the point of sacrificing if it wasn’t making a difference? Even now, knowing that results take time and actually seeing for myself that if I stick with something (that’s working) long enough, the results will come…I still relapse back to this way of thinking.
In the end, I still struggle with many of these and others that are identified in this article. However, the difference now is that despite those continued struggles, my decision to work to be better stands. I want a body that I’m comfortable in and proud of. I want to be healthier and stronger. I want to be a good role model for my children. I want to live life and not have my physical being hold me back. So I will keep working for it the rest of my life, because I believe a great body IS for me.
~Ashley~
BEAUTY & THE BEARD 